I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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