You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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