so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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