After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
