Actions speak louder than pants.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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