Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
