Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
