Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
A+ Viking dick
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
