Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
