that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
