So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
