You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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