I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
