well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
