I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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