sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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