it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
