so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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