What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
