1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize