he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
