he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
