New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I would fuck him just for his dog
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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