4 words: hood of his car
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
