i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
