The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We were destined to go to rehab together
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
