you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
