he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
