it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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