just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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