His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize