ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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