i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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