Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
