She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
