capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
