And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize