the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
