Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
