He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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