flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's the barista slut.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
