Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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