I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
