you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
