Do vagina's smell?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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