Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
