Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant

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  (347): I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/amxy
  Replies (29) Good night (1283) Bad night (5957)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The best revenge is premature balding

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  (603): The best revenge is premature balding http://tfl.nu/ugsl
  Replies (15) Good night (3922) Bad night (983)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok

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  (415): Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok http://tfl.nu/rrpn
  Replies (37) Good night (7302) Bad night (1002)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..

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  (734): i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth.. http://tfl.nu/wfim
  Replies (17) Good night (4023) Bad night (1545)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today

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  (850): I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today http://tfl.nu/9m95
  Replies (18) Good night (4689) Bad night (1138)
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  (925): View more from California

  Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed

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  (925): Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed http://tfl.nu/cgjz
  Replies (8) Good night (3908) Bad night (826)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.

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  (303): I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window. http://tfl.nu/dr4o
  Replies (5) Good night (3308) Bad night (940)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.

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  (361): Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am. http://tfl.nu/g88o
  Replies (1) Good night (1243) Bad night (2300)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

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  (618): Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers. http://tfl.nu/lte3
  Replies (7) Good night (3255) Bad night (1174)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.

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  (717): Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated. http://tfl.nu/4rw5
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (1899)
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  (415): View more from California

  Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.

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  (415): Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league. http://tfl.nu/kjpn
  Replies (3) Good night (2265) Bad night (877)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs

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  (516): Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs http://tfl.nu/6o6j
  Replies (7) Good night (2110) Bad night (714)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.

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  (204): New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us. http://tfl.nu/chty
  Replies (10) Good night (5949) Bad night (982)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.

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  (602): Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library. http://tfl.nu/6qen
  Replies (12) Good night (1836) Bad night (662)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....

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  (910): I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself..... http://tfl.nu/3gq0
  Replies (4) Good night (1329) Bad night (616)

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