I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia