Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.