I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.