Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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  (202): I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha http://tfl.nu/h2dn
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (4919)
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  (619): View more from California

  thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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  (619): thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina http://tfl.nu/dtrt
  Replies (29) Good night (6297) Bad night (964)
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  (600): View more from

  I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans

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  (600): I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans http://tfl.nu/5cg9
  Replies (6) Good night (3815) Bad night (643)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them

  (718): View more from New York

  pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed

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  (203): there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them (718): pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed http://tfl.nu/7id4
  Replies (31) Good night (11613) Bad night (1311)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Perfectly normal.

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  (440): Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?" (1-440): Perfectly normal. http://tfl.nu/lsmy
  Replies (15) Good night (6704) Bad night (1219)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one

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  (812): ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one http://tfl.nu/2d1e
  Replies (16) Good night (1012) Bad night (4367)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.

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  (636): I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss. (314): Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call. http://tfl.nu/9b26
  Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (2831)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.

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  (206): Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up. http://tfl.nu/qld8
  Replies (3) Good night (1748) Bad night (1036)
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  (975): View more from Missouri

  At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.

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  (975): At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt. http://tfl.nu/pzgf
  Replies (5) Good night (2823) Bad night (885)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.

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  (+61): It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix. http://tfl.nu/uj3b
  Replies (7) Good night (987) Bad night (1436)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie

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  (203): I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie http://tfl.nu/otf2
  Replies (7) Good night (1332) Bad night (492)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves

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  (906): hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves http://tfl.nu/z605
  Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (387)
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  (562): View more from California

  I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.

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  (562): I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked. http://tfl.nu/1vom
  Replies (9) Good night (845) Bad night (401)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.

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  (314): I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious. http://tfl.nu/b9k8
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards

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  (908): I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards http://tfl.nu/y8zl
  Replies (3) Good night (252) Bad night (273)

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