Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
