OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
