I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
