I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
