nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
