Tell her she can't have a vagina
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
