I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
dude. I can hear the air.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
