I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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