like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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