he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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