The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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